1/11/08 - Life Journal - Despite All My Rage

In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
Psalm 4:4

It's hard to keep your mind under your own control when you get angry. You don't have to tell me this twice. When we're in this state it's easy to give yourself over to sinful situations like striking out, seeking revenge, screaming at your loved ones or getting physically violent. Like it says above the best course is to be silent. It's a fact that most everything isn't as bad as it seems if you give it a few minutes to cool off.

This really resonates with me. I have a terrible temper and it doesn't take much. I need to take the quiet time, lying in my bed and deeply search my heart. I have to pray and figure out what causes me to snap like I do, symptoms that it might be about to happen and ways to defuse my anger before I give myself over to some form of sin. 90% of the time I feel like a complete ass afterwards, realizing that my reaction was way out of proportion to the cause.

Father, search my heart and mind. I need your help in burning this horrible tendency I have inside of me. It does nothing at all unless you count alienating my wife and scaring my kids.