12/1/07 - Life Journal - Love God, Do What You Want

What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means!
Romans 6:15

This seems to have been as common a problem back then as it is today. People using the grace of God and his gift of salvation as a license to live however they pleased. Paul goes on to say that if you are still willfully living in sin you are slave to the sin and lawlessness and ultimately to death. Once we take on the badge of the cross and submit to God we are free of sin and "slaves of righteousness".

St. Augustine said to love God and do as you please. Was he endorsing the Nicolaitan lifestyle here? Not at all, with a true love of the Father in our hearts we'll not want to do anything to disappoint (tick off) God. Even if we tried, that Holy Spirit is the worst guilt enhancer you can imagine. Stuff that used to be fun have somehow lost their luster. That or God will make them unenjoyable. There's an old line from Hank Jr that goes, "..and the hangovers hurt more than they used to.." God'll do that to you, and added with the guilt you feel, sometimes during or right after the act of sin, really takes the fun out of things. I just need to be more aware of this and catch myself before the guilt, pain and hurt. Things would be a lot easier.

Father, I know it's not worth it, in the short or long run. So I guess the question is why?

9/03/07 - Life Journal - Battle of Old and New

Then you will know that I am the LORD, when I bring you into the land of Israel, the land I had sworn with uplifted hand to give to your fathers. 43 There you will remember your conduct and all the actions by which you have defiled yourselves, and you will loathe yourselves for all the evil you have done.
Ezekiel 20:42,43

When the glory of the Lord is revealed to the Israelites through the fulfillment of His covenant the people will hate themselves for the evil they have done.

When I gave myself to Him and His love the Spirit took residence in my soul and kicked my conscious into overdrive. Though forgotten by Him I Iook back on the stupid things I've done and the sin I lived in with hatred. My present is a constant struggle, my new self fighting with my old, I'm aware of the sin as it's being comitted. I'm involved in a spirtual basic training, my reborn soul's quest for righteousness warring against the ways of the flesh.

Lord stand with me in this fight and carry my when I stumble. I want your righteousness but I'm weak.