Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

The old priest and the Clintons


The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital in Washington, DC. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" said the nurse

"I would really like to see President Bill and Senator Hillary Clinton before I die," whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; the Clinton's would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Hillary commented to Bill, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN IT."

Bill agreed--it was a very good thing for her campaign once they put out a press release about it.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the old priest took Bill's hand in his right hand and Hillary's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Bill Clinton spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

"Amen" said Bill.

"Amen" said Hillary.

The old priest continued...
"He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."

Steroids and Figure Skating!



An alarming trend in steroid abuse among figure skaters surfaced this past weekend when Michelle Kwan crashed through the boards while attempting a quadruple axle.


Gerbil Militia


I'm not sure why but this cracked me up. The guinea pigs better watch out!




Simpsonize Me!

I waited long enough, I had to go ahead and Simpsonize myself. Pretty laid back, five o'clock shadow and flip flops, what else is there?

Adam, I'm working on yours now!


Wasting Time at Work?


You've got to be kidding me!

(don't look at the time stamp)


This story found that the average American worker wastes 20% of his day. I don't believe it one bit!


Do you remember...



"Where's the Beef"


The link above is a great blast from the past for those of you old enough to remember the Wendy's commercial starring the old lady saying "Where's the Beef?" If you haven't noticed (see the blog on the Country Rican) the blog I got this from, "WFMU's Beware of the Blog", has some great oddities from the record industry. It's on my reader and it never fails to give me a laugh or two!

Soon to be Parents Bootcamp



This is a hilarious post by GeekZenDaddy on his blog about the steps couples should take before they have children. Everyone (hem...Adam and Lora...) needs to read this! See link below.

15 Step Plan to Get Ready for Parenthood


New music genre for Aaron Gibson


I've found the perfect sound for A.G.!

It's "The Country-Rican" sound!




You can't make this stuff up. Check out the hits here. There's some audio files too!


Online - Brad Paisley


I work down at the pizza pit
and I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I 5′3 and overweight

I’m a Sci-fi fantatic
mild athsmatic
never been to 2nd base
But there’s a whole nother me
that you need to see
Go check out Myspace

Cause online I’m down in Hollywood
I’m 6′5 and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati
I’m a black belt in Karate
and I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell ‘em I don’t want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
chat with two women at one time

I’m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom
and she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
and fire up the mac

In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I’ve been in GQ
I’m single and I’m rich
and I got a set of six pack abs that’ll blow your mind

It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell ‘em I don’t want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
chat with two women at one time

I’m so much cooler online
Yeah I’m cooler online

When you got my kinda stacks, it’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
and I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in

online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m 6′5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
chat with two women at one time

I’m so much cooler online
Yeah I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online


Yeah I’m cooler online

OK Honey, We're Here.........


This Summers Forecast


Partly Cloudy, High's in the Low 90's, 30% chance of thunderstorms as you drive home from work, Have a nice summer.

It's good to laugh at yourself.....

The following is a transcript of my adventure on the way to work one day as related through email to my loving wife........not for the faint hearted.


There I was getting ready for the shower this morning, when I made the fateful decision that would change my morning commute. I figured I would wait until work to use the restroom and continued my morning ritual, sleeping late and getting ready as fast as possible. I was just passing the Airport Road exit when that early morning trip to the water closet would come back to haunt me. It started out as a small rumble from deep in my gut and was slowly building up a head of steam. I knew for sure I wouldn't make to work, but how far? I decided to stop at the Shell station at County Line Road. Pain filled my stomach and fear started to rise. As I neared and thought I was in the clear a big honkin semi pulled in front of me and cost me precious seconds. Upon entering the station, dodging a Rooms-to-Go truck and pulling into the spot sideways, I moved the best I could in through the inviting automatic doors. There it was the light at the end of the tunnel, the end of the rainbow, the men's room. A chorus of angels celebrated my victory. Then, the screeching of a needle on a record that is stopped abruptly. Little miss Latino cleaning lady had the bathroom closed. Could it be that I had come this far for naught? After what was probably some pretty comical pacing back and forth I made a decision. I was going in. I burst through the door and ran into the stall. A surprised voice said in broken English, "You no come in, someone here"! Using my skills of persuasion I immediately fired back a clever response, "Sorry". Once landing on the seat after a quick undress I got my final slap in the face. It seems she had already started with this stall and I found myself bathing in a fresh puddle of sudsy water. To say the least it was quite shocking. Some elaborate drying off and a couple of flushes later I exited with another apology and a good bye to Senorita Bathroom Cleaner. The remainder of the trip being uneventful I am now finally seated at work writing you about my epic journey, feeling like the brave Odysseus returning home after many travails on the sea.